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Identity: Conkers.

History: Brought into the UK over four centuries back.

Appearance: The outdoor world's collectible doll.

No, I don’t think that’s right. Absolutely. Go and watch a social media video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll almost certainly hear them refer to it as “the earth's Labubu”.

Unboxing conkers? What on earth are you talking about? Goodness, you are definitely not up to date, aren’t you? Gen Zers are taking to TikTok to film themselves removing conkers from their prickly shells.

What's the reason? Due to the sense of wonder! When you unbox a conker, you never know what you’re going to get. Will it be big? Will it be flat? What will its shine level be? It is similar to a surprise package every time!

Do Labubu dolls share those traits? No, they’re somewhat eerie dolls that have become collectible because they also come in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform gen Z that they’re not using conkers correctly? Is that so? How do you do conkers, then?

Thread a lace through the center, and try to break others' nuts. Wow, really? That’s unusual.

Yeah. Your odds improve if you leave it in vinegar and then bake it like a pie. Seriously?

Seriously. And should you gather an excess, you can toss them in the schoolyard and all the other kids will compete to grab them. A beautiful, natural thing like a conker, and you use it as a weapon? A weapon that comes with a lengthy list of complex and confusing guidelines?

That's the custom! King Charles literally just presented the global conker competition with a gift of 300 conkers! At least gen Z is only filming them.

How are you unaware of this? Probably, because certain schools prohibited the game twenty years back, due to various health and safety fears.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe revealing horse chestnuts just isn’t your thing. In which case, perhaps you would be more interested in some other hot new youth fads.

Is that so? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called knitting, and something else called clay crafting that I can explain to you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you boil the needles in cider and then use them to jab one another?

No! OK, calm down. I thought all old-people traditions involved some type of aggression, after that horse chestnut game.

I feel stressed. Relax for a moment. If you need me, I’ll be unboxing seeds for clicks.

Appropriate comment: “TikTok can’t stop filming conker reveals.”

What to avoid: “This is nuts.”